Still 6 People in the house
Everyone fed and watered each day
Home schooling attempted
Lots of Tea consumed
Refereed a sibling squabble
Husband thanked for being the real trooper
Another Netflix series binged
Day Fifty-Fourwho even knows! Of Lockdown
How is it May already?!
I have had dozens of people getting in touch worried or anxious because they are feeling so many different emotions, sometimes in the space of one 24 hour period. I wanted to write this post to anyone who may stumble across it and feel the same. One minute feeling like you have a handle on things and the next feeling like you need to cry or shout or scream! You are not alone! I too have had episodes of such a calmness like I have never experienced and then ten minutes later I could cry...we are used to having freedom, having the ability to control how our days unflod to some degree, and for many of us that freedom and control over our own lives feels like it has been taken away - as if our birthright to walk where we want and travel where we want and see who we want has been stolen from us overnight. But what if we look at it as an awakening? An ability to see who we really want in our lives, to see the areas that need to change, to see the previous priorities dwindle down to meaningless chores. What if we reach out to people more often than we did before? What if we empathise in a much more sincere way? What if we all realise that all along all we needed was none of the things we clung so heavily to before? What if this is a simpler way of being that opens up a new part of us that was covered up by chaotic lifestyles we thought were necessary tasks. When anyone goes through some kind of soulful, spiritual shift in an awakening sense the emotions are super charged! Trust me! When I first followed where my intuition was leading me on this great spiritual journey I am on, I was a rollercoaster of ups and downs. I started a video journal. I needed to document the demise of my once intellectual, relatively sane brain as I fell down what I assumed must be a rabbit hole of craziness! When I looked back on my videos 6 months later I realised it was the undoing of everything I had been 'told' throughout my life to listen to what I 'felt'. I watch a video periodically to remind myself how far I have come and that just when the going got tough, the tough did go and one day it was as if the grey shade I had watched for the first 30 years of my life was lifted to reveal the brightest colours and possibilities I could have ever imagined.
So what I am trying to say is this emotional inconsistency you are experiencing is necessary. It is because right now you are being asked to listen to your hearts voice. Let it grieve the old life, the past version of you. Let it embrace the joyful moments you find in the simplest of things. Then, when the time is right, let yourself be reborn in an authentic, intuitive, soulfully connected version of yourself. The quote that fits perfectly here is "you've already survived 100% of your worst days - Keep going!"
With love and light, as always
Daily Gratitude list
Kept my cool
Forgave myself for what I didn't accomplish
Appreciated myself for what I did accomplish
Had some one on one time with my husband/best friend/rock/saviour